Someone on Fetlife asked “How did you meet your partners and how can I meet someone fast?”

Don’t be in a hurry.  That is the route to serious mistakes.  Take your time.  Get to know all kinds of people even if they don’t “meet your requirements”.

Since you asked about personal experiences.  I’ll mention how I met both Libby and Olivia.

Frankly, they met me.

Before the internet was available to ordinary folks, I used to discuss BDSM topics on Prodigy, a computer system connected to users by long-distance telephone lines.  On February 19, 1992, I received a message: “I think we share some interests in common.”

It was Libby.  She had watched my interactions with people on the board and had read my posts.  She wanted to get together with me.  As she had no experience with BDSM and lived 200 miles away, I suggested that I was willing to spend some time on the phone and in email discussing matters.  Her response was “How about next weekend.”  We met on leap day and have been together since.

Olivia also contacted me.  She didn’t expect to play, but she’d developed an interest in BDSM and had been overjoyed to discover that “a famous author” lived nearby.  She wanted to learn more about the Scene.  She and her vanilla husband came by the house to talk and then we invited them to a munch.  There was a strong attraction, but she was too modest to admit it, and I was feeling I was in “mentor” role so I held back.  The tension got so strong during subsequent meetings that Libby and George, her husband, joined forces and demanded that we “shit or get off the pot.”  We played.

I firmly believe that the three of us will be together for the rest of our lives.