Waxing by John Warren

(The following is a modified section taken from The Loving Dominant. Some parts have been changed because of research done by Spectrum and published in his book, Wax and Temperature Play.


Candles. They cast such a lovely glow across the bedroom or dungeon. Their gentle light hides and reveals. Their flickering flames draw the eye like little magnets. In the scene, candles can also perform another function: waxing.


At first, it may sound horrifying. Dripping hot candle wax on bare skin. I assure you it will sound horrifying to a novice submissive.

However, properly applied candle wax can be no more stimulating than a brisk spanking and considerably less so than whipping. The secrets are choosing the right candles and letting the wax cool by letting it fall a distance before it hits the skin.

Most novices, attempting their first waxing, are likely to go out and buy expensive candles. After all, they think, this is a special occasion; it calls for special candles. Unfortunately, these are precisely the wrong candles to use. Expensive candles are, largely without exception, made from beeswax. This is because it is easier to mold into exotic shapes and burns for a long time.

Unfortunately, the reason a beeswax candle lasts for a long time is that it generally has has a melting point considerably higher than the cheaper paraffin. The stimulation caused by melted beeswax striking the skin is very likely to exceed a submissive’s ability to transmute it into pleasure. This, in turn, can lead to a truncated session and general unhappiness all around.

Rather than rely on individual accounts of what color, material or brand one should use. The best course for any dominant is to test the wax on his or her arm. This is because there is a bewildering maze of materials used in today’s candles. By testing each candle yourself, you can both be assured that the heat level is what you want and you can grade the various candles in terms of their intensity.

My personal choice for the best candles to begin with are the cheapest: the ugly white votive candles sold for chaffing dishes and such or standard Jewish Sabbath candles.

In my first waxing session with a submissive, I prefer to have her firmly tied down. This is because the stimulation provided by the hot wax can inspire considerable thrashing around. However, once she is familiar with it, I can generally forgo bonds unless they are needed for psychological reasons.

It was long believed that holding the candle high above a submissive’s skin allow it to cool a bit before impact, but Spectrum’s research has shown that for any reasonable set of heights, the wax does not lose a significant amount of heat energy.

I keep a bowl of ice cubes handy. They come in handy for chilling down a bit of wax that was too hot, and they are handy for some erotic techniques I’ll describe later.

Dripping can be done in several ways. The candle can be held horizontal and rotated by the fingers so that the top is melted evenly and the drips are fairly regular. To speed up the dripping, you can lower the lit end so the flame is flowing over the wax. To get better control of the timing of the drips, you can tip the candle, drop a bit of wax and then return it to an upright position until you want to drop a bit more wax.

Splashing is more shocking. You allow a pool of wax to build up in the candle and then dash it on the submissive’s body. Because of the unexpectedness of the action and because the larger quantity of wax holds heat better, this is much more stimulating. Another way to splash is to use a brandy warmer, one of those little gadgets that holds a brandy glass above a small alcohol lamp. (Personally, I cannot imagine a better way to ruin the bouquet of a fine brandy by overheating, but it does lend itself to waxing.)

Simply, take some wax; the flakes you remove from your submissive at the end of a session are fine. (Recycling can be fun.) Put the wax in a brandy glass and let it sit over the flame until the wax is melted. You can then slowly dribble the melted wax or dash the contents all at once. WARNING: test the temperature of the wax with a finger before using it; the alcohol flame can raise the temperature of the wax considerably above the melting point. Also, a pool of wax will not cool anywhere near as fast as single drops. If it does not run off as a thin sheet, spread it around with your fingers or use an ice cube (More on that soon) to cool it down.

If one candle is good, aren’t more better? I wonder how many antique candelabra are sold for purposes that the dealer couldn’t even guess at? This is particularly effective with different colored candles (More soon on colored candles) in each cup. Some dominants like to spin the candelabrum so the wax literally flies off the candles. Of course, this makes a major league mess and often results in the dominant getting as completely waxed as the submissive. But it is spectacular.

With a little common sense, the entire body is an appropriate target. Obviously, open sores, eyes and vulnerable places like that are off limits, but more than one man has watched in pleasurable horror as his mistress has converted his cock to a surreal wax sculpture.

Colored candles can contain dyes that can irritate a submissive’s skin. For this reason, I do not use them during an initiation to waxing. Normally, I’ll add a few drips of each color in my ‘paint box’ to the next session. Later, I carefully examine where each of the drops landed. All by itself, this examination can be fun. If there is any redness or irritation, the color which caused it is off limits in future sessions.

Colored candles also allow the artist in the dominant to come forth. It is possible to produce very attractive designs using your submissive as a canvas. One of M’s greatest pleasures was to parade around The Vault or Fetish Factor clad primarily in different colors of wax.

Avoid dripless candles. They contain they have several layers of wax with greatly different melting points and may chemicals that are very likely to irritate skin.

D&S is a study in contrasts. This is nowhere more appropriate than a waxing scene. There is no reason why you have to limit yourself to hot wax. Drop by the kitchen for a refreshing drink and pick up a glassful of ice cubes while you are there.

There are a host of ways to combine fire and ice. The simplest is to alternate touches: nipple, cold; neck, hot; stomach, cold; armpit, hot. Particularly if the submissive is blindfolded, it is amusing to randomly vary the kinds of stimulation. It keeps the submissive guessing.

Another approach is to use both on the same spot. For example, a section of skin is chilled for a few seconds with the ice cube and then receives a splash of hot wax. After a while, your submissive may be surprised to discover that he or she can no longer distinguish between hot and cold.

Most waxing is done with the submissive horizontal. That affords the maximum of available targets and the easiest application. However, sometimes this may not be possible or aesthetic. A vertical body calls for some variations in technique.

First, and obvious, is to use or create horizontal surfaces on which to drip the wax. Some are natural, breasts and cocks come immediately to mind, but don’t forget feet and shoulders. If a male has allowed himself to become so out of shape as to develop a potbelly, this an obvious time to make him regret his lack of exercise. The head can be bent forward or back to put the neck in an appropriate position for waxing, and legs and arms can be brought out to the horizontal.

One danger should be noted here. You should keep a close eye on what is above your candle flame. I was present when a careless mistress badly burned a submissive’s stomach while she was waxing his cock. True, his protruding stomach was most unattractive, but the injury was unintentional, an indefensible error for a dominant.

Vertical bodies are also appropriate for the splashing technique noted earlier. However, you should exercise care that the forward, toward the submissive, motion is as smooth as possible. Jerking when you begin your ‘toss’ is likely to splash wax on you or to waste it on the floor. The jerk should come as the candle stops its forward motion to that the liquid wax is projected toward the submissive with skill and accuracy.

There are a wealth of ways to remove wax. One is simply to allow the submissive to wear the wax. M, the first submissive with whom I tried the brandy glass trick, greatly enjoyed being paraded around wearing little but cooled wax. Of course, this option in a less public place may mean that flakes of wax will be turning up in the most unlikely places for the next millennium.

Of course, the submissive can be set to removing his or her wax, but I feel this is declining an opportunity for me to get in a bit of additional provocative stimulation. It can, however, be visually amusing, particularly when the submissive is forced to remove significant amounts of body hair along with the wax.

While it is superfluous when the submissive is removing the wax, the wax should be allowed to cool completely before the dominant begins to remove it. This makes removal easier.

You can, of course, pick the wax off with your fingers. This method is particularly alluring when done by a female dominant with long, attractive fingernails. Other dominants attempt to whip off the flakes of wax off the submissive’s skin. My preference is for a large, sharp knife. (For personal protection, I generally eschew large knives. After all, vital organs are rarely more than two inches away from an opponent’s skin. However, the scene puts image above practicality.) Watching a submissive’s widened eyes following the shiny steel sliding over her breast and caressing her nipple while the flakes of wax are removed, can be a most delightful experience.

There are a two pre-waxing exercises that can make the wax removal much easier. The most erotic of the two is shaving. Most people have fine hairs over most of the body, not to mention the not-so-fine collection at several of the most logical targets for waxing. When these hairs are trapped by the cooling wax, it becomes quite difficult and time consuming to remove the result. (see the section on shaving in the Fun and Games chapter)

Another approach that makes wax removal a snap is using plastic wrap. Ordinary kitchen plastic wrap or the industrial strength product conduct heat and cold quite efficiently and provides a surface which the wax will not cling to. Prior to waxing, you can elect to mummify (see comments on mummification in the Bondage section in the Fun and Games chapter) or you can simply put the plastic firmly over the sections to be waxed.

In most cases, the plastic wrap goes on quite tightly and sticks very well. Unfortunately, this is not true in the case of the genitalia. Both cocks and balls and pussies are so irregular and, often, so hairy that the plastic wrap is cannot find a smooth surface on which to stick.

This problem can be remedied by taping both ends of the plastic. Some people use masking tape. I have found the clear plastic tape sold in hardware and stationary stores for sealing boxes is better. Because it comes in three-inch wide rolls, there is plenty of adhesive surface to distribute between the plastic wrap and the skin. It also bonds quite effectively to skin.

Have the submissive lie on his or her back; attach one end of the plastic wrap to the stomach; have the submissive roll over; pull the plastic tight and attach the other end to the back. Not only will the heat or cold be transmitted directly to the submissive’s skin through the tightly drawn plastic wrap, the sight of the ‘shrink wrapped meat’ is an appropriate topic for light banter.

Wax removal consists of simply removing the plastic wrap. The wax comes right off with it.