Scene Preparation – Selection from ‘The Loving Dominant’ by John Warren
If the scene will last more than an hour or so, make sure an adequate supply of food and drink will be available. Both you and the submissive are going to be expending incredible amounts of energy. Hunger and thirst can be a distraction from the exciting sensations you want to feel. At a very minimum, I lay in a supply of some small, easy-to-swallow treats. Hershey’s Kisses are a favorite. They are perfect for popping in a submissive’s mouth when he or she least expects it. The candy provides a quick burst of energy, and the sweet sensuality of it is a marvelous contrast to the dynamic sensuality of what you are doing.
There is some small risk in doing this because of the level of excitement the submissive is feeling, but I’m sure you know the Heimlich maneuver. If not, read the poster that seems to violate the decor of every restaurant in the country.
Some people plan their scenes with the precision of a German railroad timetable. I’ve seem some that went: 8:00 to 8:20 spanking, five minute rest, 8:25 to 8:50 whipping with deer skin cat, and so on. If this is your turn on, so be it. I, personally, feel this kind of scheduling takes much of the spontaneity out of the scene.
This kind of Teutonic scheduling is often desired by male submissives and seems to have two sources. With an inexperienced submissive, it is most often an attempt to work out a fantasy which he has had for a number of years. This should be strongly discouraged. Such a person generally has very unrealistic expectations regarding his personal limits and endurance. Also, it is an attempt to seize control of the scene from you. Either situations is a potential disaster.
Less often, such a program may be presented by an experienced submissive who is attempting to recreate a previous experience. While this is a much less likely to fail, you should still discourage such attempts. First, you are not the other dominant or top. It is unlikely you could recreate what actually happened, and worse, it is almost impossible for you to be able to recreate what his mind now ‘remembers’ of the experience after he has had time to embellish it in fantasy.
Second, and more importantly, repeating such scenes has no potential for a submissive to grow. Part of the dominant’s role is to expand their submissive’s awareness and experience. We cannot do that by simply repeating the past.
However, even without a detailed design, you should have some plans for transitions between various activities. For example, in an initial scene with a new submissive, I set aside some time between each, increasingly intense activity to talk about her reactions to what was done and how she is feeling.
With more familiar submissives, I still try to alternate intense stimulation with gentler activities. For example, although I may use touches of the vibrator during a whipping, I will set aside a few minutes of vibrator play after the whipping is complete and before, perhaps, I go on to waxing. Having such hiatuses, gives both of you a rest. The contrast, also, gives a greater intensity to each, individual feeling.